Jokes Journal
Issue 1, Published on March 26, 2007

Jokes Journal, 2007-03-26 Welcome to Monday's Edition! In today's issue ... 1) This Dog is a Genius 2) Today's Opportunity 3) Railroad This Dog is a Genius A butcher notices a dog in his shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well." The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money, and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is well impressed, and since it's close to closing time, he decides to close up the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth. Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and -Whap!- throws himself against it again. There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog. Kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What the hell are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for heaven's sake!", to which the guy responds... "Genius my butt - this is the second time this week that he's forgotten his key!" Get a BREAK now and let us present TODAY's OPPORTUNITY brought to you by AdsMarket Priority Classified Ad Co-op When was the last time you were paid just for giving your opinion? The CEO's of major companies depend on surveys. Get $5 to $75 for taking simple easy online surveys. Make more money with focus groups, trying new products, and previewing movie trailers. Plus 3 bonuses. Railroad A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he was hit and thrown to the side of the tracks, with some internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After months in the hospital recovering, he was at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard the tea kettle whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from the nearby closet and bashed the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushed into the kitchen, saw what had happened, and asked the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?" The desert man replied, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small." Thank you for reading today's issue of JOKES Journal. Take care, Anne Marie, Your Publisher You are receiving this message because you subscribed to JOKES Journal. If you no longer wish to receive our ezine, please send an email message to: ... the email address has been removed from here because of the robots that harvest email addresses from the websites for the purpose of sending spam. © 2007 Jokes Journal. All Rights Reserved.

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